Ambien is the devil, thank you Octagon and my haters for your help!
Last night as I was falling asleep I evidently posted stuff to twitter in my sleep stooper... Although it was hardcore proof of my claims all along of my relationship with Michael and that we were still together when he went to rehab, it was in poor taste. I get frustrated with myself when I allow online trolls to make me feel bad, like I am lying and need to prove everything to the world. I have said this a million times over. If I was lying, Michael, Octagon and his lawyers would have stopped me months ago from being able to speak publicly. I am sure they regret everyday not having me sign a confidentiality agreement. I suggested to Drew Johnson, at Octagon, in the beginning that we should cover the relationship up and release a joint statement saying we were not involved, not intimate and I was just there in the capacity of crisis managment as a consultant for them. Needless to say they declined.
The people that defend him blindly ignoring the truth that is plastered all over the internet do the opposite of their goal by attacking me. You want to protect him, but the more you attack and corner me, the more compelled I am to defend myself and share facts and truth that will in no way help your Olympic hero. You are perpetuating hate of anyone with a gender challenge by attacking me and making it seem horrible that he would have been involved with me and maybe would have stayed with me. You send a message to sponsors that people that don't fall perfectly on the gender spectrum are not good for business. That is so not true.
People are hell bent on dredging up my past over 25 years ago. Were you not paying attention? I disclosed all of that in an open letter to the world on November 13, 2014. People want to continue to post pictures illegally from that past without permission not having a clue of any of the circumstances behind them. Did it ever occur to any of you that the photos were staged and created? When it comes to talk shows you are quick to make that the gospel. Let me assure you that just like Janet Mock on Piers Morgan I had no idea what they were going to put under my name until it aired. If you really did see or listen to the show you would have known I was championing for gender rights, period! I was nver convicted of a felony and I never served time in a men's prison or sentenced to prison. You all want to believe a lie that is not substantiated, but when you have facts staring you in the face you turn a blind eye.
Do you honestly think I have been in Time, People, Huffington Post without being vetted? Do you think I was on Entertainment Tonight, The Indsider and E! News without being vetted? They have seen the forensic report, emails, phone logs, and photos. Things that are truly not necessary to be shared with the world. Why was there a forensic report done? My phone was compromised the night of September 30, 2014. It was necessary to find out how the media got personal text and photos that belonged to Michael and I.
In the begining I protected him. There was no shame in ackowledging our relationship except in the eyes of a judgemental America, especially the obssessed swimming community. I cared about him and wanted to be there for him and shield him from anything damaging. He told me that Drew Johnson and Octagon would be there for me before he left for rehab. He told me it would be good to cooperate with them and work with them. As soon as he was gone to Arizona, Octagon ceased to exist in my world. I made Drew aware of every media outlet contacting me, what they were saying and what they wanted. I originally did speak to Radar Online in the form of a puff piece supporting my man. Drew and Octagon were aware of all of this way before it was made public and I pleaded with them for help. Michael even knew about this as this conversation happened before he left for rehab. Three articles appeared before Michael left for rehab. He apologized to me for what was happening and how it was affecting me. They all knew well in advance of it becoming public what my past was. Radar Online, American Media Inc. which also owns The National Enquirer and OK magazine, the Star and Globe betrayed information that was provided to them for the purpose of vetting for the stupid puff piece which was never printed once my past came into the mix. That happened because someone who will remain nameless sold me out to the tabloids along with other people from the night of September 30, 2014.
Radar Online put text messages out there that showed a very one sided version of the night of September 30, 2014. Michael was not pushing me away the way it was made to look. He had been up since the morning of the 29th. He was completely exhausted from the DUI, lawyers and management and family coming and going. After his family left we had an argument and I told him to "go fuck himself" I proceeded to go with strangers to Fells Point and then realized how stupid it all was. I was drunk though at this point and like any drunk girl, I couldn't be rational and just wanted to be there for my man and support him and lie next to him and hold him.
I have been called a liar saying I did not say anything to the media while he was in rehab. The only thing I did was defend myself in the comments of a story, and then more stories still defending him at the same time. That is not giving a story to the media. It was definitely a learning experience for me that defending yourself is just what the online trolls want. They want to engage and be relevant. This was a very hard lesson to learn. The first story that had anything to do with me came out the day he left rehab on November 19, 2014. Him and his team knew about it for weeks prior to it happening.
The only time I have bad mouthed him so to speak was on Howard Stern, but once again I was telling the truth. While he was in rehab, the same people that defend him now wanted to hurt me and sent images that proved he was seeing Nicole Johnson at the same time he was seeing me. I confronted him while he was in rehab. I even reached out to her, stupidly thinking she was oblivious to this. Not long after that we were done in my eyes, but something about him being in rehab softened my anger and I really foolishly, naively liked him and what we had. By the time I wrote the Open Letter to the world, I was second guessing my decision and was willing to work things out.
Since all this has happened women from around the country have contacted me that he was involved with. Turns out there was a second girl he was sleeping with while him and I were together. He led me to believe it was just us and he was single. We were intimate in a way people in a relationship are, not someone that is playing the field.
Nicole has known about Michael and I since October 2014.