The past nine months have been quite the journey of ups and downs, mistakes and triumphs. The most valuable lesson I have learned is that people don't care about the truth, only what they want to believe in any situation.
It is hard living with everything out there for the world to see and judge you on. You want to ignore it and say that their opinions don't matter and at the end of the day they really don't, but the words and misinformation do hurt little by little. No matter what you think you know there is so much more to each and every story.
It is good to be back in Florida and free of the DMV and the scrutiny that it put upon me the last nine months.
I told River Scott Fisher I thought it would be a bad idea for me to show up at his gallery opening in the hornet's nest of haters, Baltimore, this summer. He discouraged me from not coming and told me no amount of negativity or uproar takes away from the art.
I look forward to coming to terms with all of the demons of my childhood by purgng them into my life story. I am going to tell it all. Much to most people's dismay the Michael Phelps saga will be nothing more than a blip. He is such a small part of my story, yet he still commands the most attention in the media becuase of who he is.
When I feel like throwing in the towel or giving up or running away, I am reminded by an email or post of someone that I have touched through my story. Daily someone shares with me how my living out loud has helped them in someway.
I am so sorry to my friends and family how all this media attention has affected them. They hate seeing all the lies and comments printed about me and want to defend me, but I have strongly cautioned against it. There is no changing the mind of any of these people that believe a myriad of versions of the truth. I think if Michael came out and said everything I have said was true and he was sorry, that they would come up with some explanation why he was doing it, or that he was forced to lie. They don't want the truth to be true, they prefer a lie and will do anything to dimmish or hurt me to achieve that end.
Through all of this only two people have walked away from me. Kelvin Moses and Clemmie Williams. It hurt like hell, but that is life.
As I start this new chapter I am going to do my best to minimize my attachment to MP. I am so tired of saying the same things over and over. I am sorry for reacting in frustration and anger at times and bringing more of our private life into the public. I wish I had gone home and never made a film depicting my love affair with him. I can't undo the past, but I can surely make the effort to minimize the damage to me and the people close to me going forward.
I have gone through and deleted a lot on my several social media accounts and made them private or stronger filtered in hopes of changing the narrative going forward.
It is sad to say at this point I wish I had never gotten involved with him. The bad that has come from all of this certainly outweighs the good. Especially when the good was all built on many lies.
I will no longer engage with these online predators. Nothing good comes of it. They come into it with no intention of seeking the truth or wanting resolution.
I will fullfil my obligations that are already in place going forward, but that is it.
I have been presented with a career opportunity that takes me back to my business roots and allows me to manuever in international channels outside of the hate concentrated here in the U.S. I really hope it can come to fruition, but if for some reason it doesn't I will find something else to help bounce me back to a time when I felt good about my work flow.
The fans that love me through thick and thin, thank you for always being there. I want to talk about my life and experience going forward, not my brief relationship with Michael Phelps.