Why Do Men Lie?

January 19, 2017

I didn't want to believe that Timothy would go against what he originally said and break his silence to the the media. We always want to believe someone we care about. The harsh reality is that the guy I thought was so wonderful, is no better than Michael Phelps. Men will say and do anything to get what they want. Do they all know what they are doing on a conscious level, or is it just instinctive and they are unaware of what they are doing? 

I met Timothy though a mutual friend, unlike Michael Phelps who I met through an online dating app. I originally thought that was the most wonderful thing. How organic to meet someone in real life. Especially when this person knew about you before hand and everything about who you are and your past. How great is that that they still wanted to meet you? 

Things with Timothy were a whirlwind. From the moment we saw each other there was chemistry and attraction. I was actually only stopping off to have a drink with friends before going on a date with another man. The connection with Timothy was so intense that I ended up canceling my date. We stayed long after our friends that had been with us that first night. We talked about my public life. I even showed him the trailer to my film. Looking back I have to wonder if he had already seen it. There was an instant comfort level. He discussed with me his divorce, kids, other women and relationships. He talked about how he was ready again for a relationship and he wanted to be in love. Ironically the last relationship he was in for a year he never felt or told her he loved her. That should have been my first red flag, but it wasn't. 

When we left the restaurant in Old Town Alexandria I gave him a ride to his car. I may not have known it then, but I was hooked. Before he got out of the car he asked for my number and called my phone so I would have his. Then he kissed me. Shawn Mendes, Hold On was playing. He even made reference to that was a perfect song for the moment. It had been a long time since I felt a kiss on my lips like that. In fact Michael Phelps was the last person that kissed me that made me feel like there was no one else in the world for me. 

Dates and spending time together followed immediately. Texting and selfies back and forth. Long conversations when he would drive to New York to see his kids. We almost saw each other everyday. I even went with him to the Air National Guard Christmas Ball where I met coworkers and friends. I had met other friends and co workers previously when we went to the Military Tribute Night for WWE Smackdown. We would text when we woke up and talk and text throughout the day until bedtime. Every time we took a picture together I asked his permission if it was ok to post them, he told me to TAG him in them on social media. He always said yes. The first night we met we took photos together after talking for hours. 

The night of the ball was the first time we slept together. It was almost like he read the Phelps' playbook. Timothy is an amazing lover. After that, most times we were together, he would stay the night. 

We had made plans to go to the new MGM Grand after his Christmas party at Andrew's Air Force Base. We had text all day and a little after 6pm he informed me he was finishing up dinner and still having fun. Minutes turned into hours and around 9:30pm I was beginning to wonder what was going on. We had talked the night before over dinner about New Year's plans and what we were going to do. I am sure you can imagine my shock when I received a TEXT that he had changed his mind and was not ready for a serious relationship and broke up with me. Tears started running down my face. My heart was broken and I felt devastated. I was leaving the next day for Florida for Christmas and this would have been the last time I saw him before I left. I didn't even want to go to Florida. I didn't even know how to say what happened because our relationship was so public on my private and public social media.

I told very few people what had happened and did not discuss it on my holiday in Florida. Most people in my life still think we are together because the next guy I met after him is named Timothy too and I was not so public about him, so it looked like it had never ended.

Let me back track a minute to New Year's Eve where we got thrown together again, Timothy one. It was awkward and I was nervous at first. From the moment he hugged me and said hello it didn't calm my nerves. Things even became more complicated when our friends left us together for the first hour of the night by ourselves because they had VIP tickets. We drank, danced, explored the different bands and DJ's. We even did a raffle that Timothy joked that we were married and I was embarrassed to say we were married and lived together as we were filling out the cards with the lady. We later suspected that is where this whole "engaged" on New Year's Eve story came from in the first place, as I was wearing a huge engagement ring.

Our mutual friend assured me that Timothy thought this was all funny and he was ok with being attached to me in the news. His comment to her was, "Am I on TMZ?" I told her the best thing to do was say nothing publicly and the story would die and she said he agreed. A few days later I am portrayed in the media like I am a crazy person that made this all up and we never dated or were together. What made this all a hundred times worse is that we tweeted and reposted the article, because we thought it was funny. I even posted a picture with the engagement ring. We were just having fun with a story that wasn't true.

I reread that second story that came out again tonight and I couldn't shake this uneasy feeling. How stupid could I have been to think he didn't contact them. There are too many details that other people just wouldn't know. It hurt to see the lies and to make it seem like we only went out twice and I had made our relationship up in my head. Then it hit me. Did he really believe what he was saying? Was everything he did and said just to get me into bed all those times? Did Michael Phelps do the exact same thing? 

I will never understand why men do the things they do and play with our hearts and emotions. To minimize it just to sex makes no sense. No one is going to invest the time, conversation, money and effort before and after just for that, or am I naive? Is it all a lie? 

*Update

I got full confirmation that he spoke to Hollywood Gossip from two separate sources. He supposedly wasn't trying to hurt me or minimize us. He had no problem with our relationship or it being public. He was worried about his ex wife and their custody agreement as it portrayed that I had met his boys. I had only been present when he faced time them. I never met them in real life. That still doesn't excuse him for lying about us and making it seem like it was nothing.

Tell me what you think about men and relationships at the bottom of the page in the comments.

 

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